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Dear Dad


Alisha Morgan

Dear Dad,

There are many people who have influenced me in my life so far, but none of them have been like you. You are the only influential person who has taught me about the type of person I never want to be. Drinking, doing drugs, and treating people badly are things I will never do because of you. I refuse to grow up and get an education, only to throw away my life. The three articles I have just stated are a few of the many issues you have taught me to overcome. I know you may think that the words I've written so far are false, or that I've been forced to write these things by my mom, but you're too far gone to realize the situation between the two of us; to know how I've been affected by your example. I just want you to know that your words never encouraged me to condemn these things; your actions were the only examples I needed.

I will never drink, smoke, or do drugs because of your awesome illustration. I have had first hand experience of how these substances can screw up a person's life, just by observing you. Your drinking made you a person I hated, still hate actually. Inhaling your cigarette smoke in a second hand fashion made me sick; you know that is the reason I had bronchitis so bad and so often. Knowing that you were high while I was in your care scared me.  I know what the consumption of these substances will do to one's body; just looking at you will give anyone enough evidence of the terrible things they do. You are fifty years old and you have already received your death sentence.

When I was in the fifth grade, mama and I found out that you had Hepatitis C, and that your refusal to end all alcoholic consumption only made your illness worse. At the same time, I found out how you contracted your disease. Shooting up was the answer and it made me sick to my stomach to think that you liked to harass your body with needles and illegal drugs. It seems you were never concerned about cleaning your needles, just the high you received from cocaine, crystal meth, and the other countless drugs you took. You are the best person to find out how drugs affect your body, since all one has to do is observe your physical state. A yellowish tint to your skin; a stomach that pooches out because of your failing liver; and a reeking odor seeping through your pores. I need no other examples, although you do offer them, to persuade me against the evils of alcohol and illegal drugs.

How else have you influenced me? I can easily answer the question with this response: By not mentally abusing anyone. You and I both know why this is something I don't want to ever find myself doing, but I will explain my point anyway. When you lived with me and mama, you constantly badgered us with the ridiculous things you did or said. You knew that the two of us had short tempers. You did everything that you could to set them off. I remember that the summer of 2000 was the worst time, mentally, that I had while living with you. Two or three times a day, you and I would argue with one another over the slightest comment or look.

These arguments did nothing but upset me and give you an excuse to leave the house. I constantly had to take a walk down the road, just so that I could calm down and keep my anger in check. I have always been a violent and angry person, which you had first hand experience with the day I used you as my personal punching bag. I was so angry at the way you treated your family, how you caused turmoil between the three of us, and the way in which you treated yourself. There was no respect, there never will be, between you and I. The way that you treated me and mama was so unbearable that I was on the point of moving out. Words do hurt, and I try not to use them negatively the way you did.

In the end, the main thing you have taught me to cherish is my life. I've seen the way you treat yours, like it's a gift that can be replaced. I know that life is a gift, but once it's gone, that's it. I refuse to throw away my gift, the way you have. I do not want to end up a dying woman, all alone, with people who only congregate around me when my check comes in the mail. I want to choose against the decision of cursing my boss out, almost losing my job because of it, the way you did (all because of your drinking problem). I want my friends to enjoy my company, not disconnect themselves from me because my personality was effected, in a negative way, by illegal substances.

The most important thing that I never want to encounter, the way you have, is to have my own children hate me because of the way I have treated them; I want them to enjoy my company. I would like to thank you for your impeccable influence upon me. I have to say, you have made my life better for it.

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