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Courtney Wilson

Waking up one Sunday morning, I realize that Iím alone
My first instinct is to cry, but Iím above that - Iíve grown
Although itís cold here without your warm body next to mine
For the first time since forever, I can truly say ďIím fineĒ

Of course the pain is still there, buried in my heart and soul so deep
But I try to keep it pushed down like a secret I promised to keep
At times like this I wonder if it will ever go away
But I know Iím being silly, Iím going to be okay

Certainly not today, maybe not tomorrow
But one day it will all be gone, this pain and my sorrow
Iíll be able to look at you as a friend and nothing more
Keep my eyes on you instead of cowardly at the floor

When I say Iím fine, this doesnít mean Iím back to my normal self
I still can
ít imagine being with anybody else
But tearless days pass, first one, then two, right now Iím on day three
And Iíve gradually accepted that this is the way that you want it to be

Sometimes though, when no one else is around
My mind starts slipping and I spiral back down
Any progress Iíve made disappears without a trace
And I start to think everything is just a waste

You cut me so deep that I thought Iíd never stop bleeding
The painís still there, but not as fresh, itís finally receding
Now Iím simply numb, my body is here but thatís just a shell
Itís going to take a while until I recover from how far I fell

I loved you, I didnít lie, the pain I feel is real
When I move on, Iím not forgetting you, Iím just trying to heal
Please know that I would still do anything to make you happy, anything at all
I love you so much, that the climb was worth the fall

I wish I could be mad, just shut you out and be through
Forgetting all the reasons that I fell in love with you
But if I did that, I wouldnít learn and I guess thatís what this is about
And even in my saddest time, of that I have no doubt

Everything happens for a reason, I still hold this to be true
Even if to realize it, it meant finally losing you

Everyday is a struggle and I try not to fall down
Wondering what happiness is like and if itís ever found
Itís hard waking up all alone, just by myself
But itís even harder to think of you with somebody else

If I saw you, I wouldnít know what to say
I couldnít watch you, Iíd turn my eyes away
I know this is what I asked for, I needed to be set free
But this isnít what I wanted, no not this misery

So I guess itís final and this is the end
I guess you really are only a friend
If we had been smarter and taken it slow
Maybe things would be different and you wouldnít want to go

Iíll see you sometime soon, Iíll always be around
But I donít know if Iím ever going to be anything but down
It hurts now, but I know thereís nothing I can do
Itís my fault that Iím losing you

I understand that this is how things need to be
But please, no matter what, please donít forget me
Remember everything we did, every kiss that we shared
But please most of all remember that I cared

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