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Belles Bell
by
Daniel W. Kneip
At exactly 8:45 in the morning, the cow said, "Where in the green pastures is
that rooster?!" And she was really starting to get extra worried!
As the world knows, the rooster starts his day, as the sun winks, by waking up
the farmer with a loud cluckedy-cluck-cluck! But this morning, and THIS morning
in particular, no rooster was heard and the cow sure had a bad feeling because
she needed to be milked very urgently!
"I’d laugh the milk right out me nose if I could!" she joked, but the other cows
didn’t think it was so funny and one cow decided to wake the farmer up herself
and she did this, handily, by throwing her cowbell through the farmer’s bedroom
window which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t the best idea because the glass
shattered and the farmer woke up in an absolute rage yelling, "Why, when I find
the misfit what done that, I’ll maker her me bride!"
And that dumb cow, whose name, interestingly enough, was Belle, was shakin’ like
a bug in a cold bowl of soup and she said, "I’ve got to really replace me bell
so that guy doesn’t know I’s the one what broke the window!"
And the cows scurried around the barn searchin’ for an old bell and they
searched and scurried and one cow even scurched!
But they could not find a bell anywhere.
Then, a slam of the front door was heard, vividly, and the farmer’s heavy boots
clanked down the wooden steps toward the barn and Belle really started crying
like an utter!
"Except these is real tears!"
Then, suddenly, who should appear from a hay stack but that old dastard, the
rooster! I guess he overslept, huh?
And Belle was so angry AND happy to see him, that she wrung his dirty little
neck and threw him right out the barn door!
Now when the angry farmer, shotgun in hand, saw that dead bird at his feet, he
got the "scarredy cats" and decided maybe not to go messin’ with them cows
today.
"I’ll have them some time to simmer down," he said to himself and walked
carefully, fearing an attack, back into the farm.
This proved, actually, most fortuitous for the farmer because on this day, those
cows learned how to milk themselves and this meant he could start sleepin’ in
again, just like the ol’ days!
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