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Belles Bell

by

Daniel W. Kneip

At exactly 8:45 in the morning, the cow said, "Where in the green pastures is that rooster?!" And she was really starting to get extra worried!

As the world knows, the rooster starts his day, as the sun winks, by waking up the farmer with a loud cluckedy-cluck-cluck! But this morning, and THIS morning in particular, no rooster was heard and the cow sure had a bad feeling because she needed to be milked very urgently!

"I’d laugh the milk right out me nose if I could!" she joked, but the other cows didn’t think it was so funny and one cow decided to wake the farmer up herself and she did this, handily, by throwing her cowbell through the farmer’s bedroom window which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t the best idea because the glass shattered and the farmer woke up in an absolute rage yelling, "Why, when I find the misfit what done that, I’ll maker her me bride!"

And that dumb cow, whose name, interestingly enough, was Belle, was shakin’ like a bug in a cold bowl of soup and she said, "I’ve got to really replace me bell so that guy doesn’t know I’s the one what broke the window!"

And the cows scurried around the barn searchin’ for an old bell and they searched and scurried and one cow even scurched!

But they could not find a bell anywhere.

Then, a slam of the front door was heard, vividly, and the farmer’s heavy boots clanked down the wooden steps toward the barn and Belle really started crying like an utter!

"Except these is real tears!"

Then, suddenly, who should appear from a hay stack but that old dastard, the rooster! I guess he overslept, huh?

And Belle was so angry AND happy to see him, that she wrung his dirty little neck and threw him right out the barn door!

Now when the angry farmer, shotgun in hand, saw that dead bird at his feet, he got the "scarredy cats" and decided maybe not to go messin’ with them cows today.

"I’ll have them some time to simmer down," he said to himself and walked carefully, fearing an attack, back into the farm.

This proved, actually, most fortuitous for the farmer because on this day, those cows learned how to milk themselves and this meant he could start sleepin’ in again, just like the ol’ days!

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