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Goth Culture

by 

Gary Gordon


Let's look at the whole "goth culture" thing.

I think that it's made up of mixed-up kids that haven't been able to find their place in society, weaklings who are looking to blame their failures on some "alternative lifestyle" choices, and just plain, garden-variety idiots.

They have no life, so they have to manufacture one built on the corpses of all the ideals they've killed in their ridiculous effort to be different. I mean... what are they accomplishing? Their appearance usually keeps them from having to mess around with that whole bothersome "job market," sure (more time to spend at the tattoo parlor) but maybe, just MAYBE, they'll hit the mother lode and snag that prestigious job at the Tower Records store (but only if you have a minimum of 5 body piercings... in the face.)

Boy....those goth cats really dig their piercings, huh? You can't get any respect down at the espresso bar unless you look like you fell down 6 flights of stairs carrying a tackle box. Oh, and you can never smile. Don't even think about it....It is that whole elusive yin-yang, pleasure-pain thing that sets the goths apart from a lot of other groups. You must perfect that "outcast" look....the sullenness of those not accepted by society....and because they're not accepted....they feel outcast and sullen....it's a vicious cycle.

A cycle that is brought about by pushing the bounds of good sense and societal acceptance... and is totally their own fault. Screw them and their whining...."We just want to be accepted for who we are"....I say FINE. I accept you and I accept the fact that you are disaffected members of generation X who think that this world should have this "whatever you want to do, however you want to express yourself" outlook... But guess what?

There are certain forces at work in this world that say...."This road leads to success....That road leads to that coffee shop over there....see it?....The one with all the goth kids hanging around reading their painfully dark poetry."

I have nothing whatsoever against anyone who has a point and wants me to listen to it. If a person REALLY BELIEVES in something....I can respect that.

My problem with every single goth person I have ever met (and I am speaking of a small number - the ones I've talked to may even have been militant "apostate" goths trying to give the good goths a bad name....) is that they have not been able to communicate what it is that they actually BELIEVE in. Their total focus has been on how the public and media persecute them because they "look different." But when you ask them what their "Goth Culture" brings to our society....they have to run and get a dictionary and look up the words "culture" and "society."

I can respect anyone with an intelligent opinion....or anyone with the intelligence to take an idea that's nuttier than a squirrel turd....and make it interesting.

However....Here's a real "no-shitter"....A clear message for all the white-faced, black-haired youth out there....

The message is - Inarticulate indignation doesn't play well for the camera, Sparky. The media laughs because you are the clowns of the millennium... right down to the white face make-up and the funny hair. Stir in a healthy dollop of counter-culture and give it an anti-society floater....and you've got the recipe for an elixir that can make you do things like....be friends with Oswald, the step son of the dry-cleaner on the corner.... but his name is now Morlock and he's quitting his job at Cinnabuns so he can work on his "image of dark malevolence"....and you just tag along on this crazy ride....TILL YOU'RE 30!....Wake up and smell the hair dye, people!

Stupidity, Apathy, Kathie Lee Gifford....They're all major contributors to the fall of the United States. Goth Culture is a by-product of the insanity....not the cause. It's just a symptom of this country's disease.

Goths are the souls of the past, loitering in the present....with no regard for the future.

....or maybe they're just really, really stoned.

I'm just sayin'....

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