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Grandpa's Gardenias
by
Harry Buschman
My father was late and supper wasn't ready.
He was never late, even on payday, and supper waited on the stove. I knew
without asking that something was wrong.
"How is he?" my mother asked even before he
took his coat off.
"He can't stand the pain in his stomach,
it's pretty bad I guess .... " He looked at my mother and shrugged. "I
don't think he's gonna' make it through the night." This was 1928, and pain like
that - doubling up pain that wouldn't go away - could only mean only one thing.
My mother put her foot down .... "Well,
he's not coming here. I've got enough to do!" There was no question about
it, he was not moving in with us. My mother did have enough to do, the
apartment was already over-crowded, clothes hung everywhere. My father's brother
and sister had moved in with us and I had to sleep in the parlor on a horse hair
sofa next to an old upright piano.
Nobody had a good word to say for my
grandfather anyway. The highest rung he reached on the ladder of life was
weekend bartender at Shorty's over on Classon Avenue. He was a born part
time man; part time steam fitter, part time fireman, part time drunkard
and full time gambler. His wife, my paternal grandmother, had four
children in the shortest possible time and died in the great flu epidemic
of 1919 surrounded by her four kids while the old man was tending bar. He
never remarried and left the upbringing of the four children in the hands of the
older sister.
But my father was fond of him. Pop was the
only one of the children with a son of his own. He was also the youngest,
and he probably never got to know grandpa as well as the others did.
"I don't want him here neither," my father
backed away defensively, "it's just that I gotta do somethin' -- I think we
should put him in a hospital maybe. Is Fred home yet?"
Fred was his older brother, and a lot like
the old man. He slept in the bedroom that would have been mine .... it was hard
to get him to wear a shirt to the dinner table, and it was rare to see him
without a Camel in his mouth, one behind his ear and a racing form in his back
pocket. In an emergency like this he was no use at all.
But he was home and he gave my father some
moral support. Together they walked over to my grandfather's flat to see
what they could do about getting him in Saint Theresa's Hospital -- but
they were too late. The pain in his stomach was gone forever and left the
part time husband and father in peace. Fred nervously lit up another
Camel, and my father re-lit his soggy cigar.
They sat down on the ratty sofa and decided
they couldn't handle this on their own and they got the super. Supers could do
anything .... fix a faucet, snake out a drain or speed the departure of a
deceased tenant. By tomorrow afternoon somebody else would be living there --
none the wiser. In the blink of an eye, the man from O'Dell's funeral parlor was
on the scene with a canvas bag, a coffin brochure and the medical examiner.
Within the hour the old man was in the
hands of Brian O'Dell. Later, my father said the decision to have him 'laid out'
in the parlor was Fred's, and he in turn said he had nothing to do with it. Then
they blamed O'Dell. You know how men are -- a few of them get together and
decide something and can't remember whose idea it was in the first place. One of
them decided anyway, and that was the end of my childhood innocence concerning
life and death. I was going to have a parlor roommate for a day or two. Old
grandpa never got invited to our house while he lived, but now that he was dead
he was going to share the parlor with me -- and the upright piano.
I put up a howl when I heard the news. So
did my mother who never wanted him in the house alive let alone dead.
My father tried to put his foot down. "It's
too late now damn it .... O'dell's bringin' him over tomorrow afternoon.
It'll only be for a day or two."
"I ain't sleepin' with him," I bawled, "I
never slept in a room with a dead man!"
"He's right, Henry .... you can't ask a
child his age to sleep next to a coffin. You sleep in the parlor and he can
sleep with me."
I could tell from the look on my father's
face, a look I had seen many times .... a tightening of his upper lip and a
sideways twitch of his jaw. He knew he hadn't thought it through, it wasn't
going to work out well at all. I suppose he and Fred let O'Dell call the shot.
It was late winter, all the funeral parlors were full and the only way he could
handle grandpa was to lay him out at home.
The following day was a landmark day for
me. The day a dead man came to live with us. I couldn't wait to get out of the
house and off to school in the
morning. My father left first, still nursing the tightening of his upper lip and
the sideways twitch of his jaw. He gave my mother a peck and promised to be home
early. Fred scuttled out so fast his Camel was still unlit, and my Aunt, knowing
we didn't have a phone said, "Call me if you need me."
It was the first time in my life I wondered
what was going on at home while I was in school. I could see, in gruesome
detail, O'Dell and his crew carrying grandpa up the stairs in a canvas bag, all
powdered and rouged to spend a night or two with his family before taking
off for Evergreen. I hoped he'd get there before I did, I didn't want to be
there when they brought him in. What would it be like having a dead man in the
living room? There would be relatives I had never seen before -- I didn't like
it at all!
When school was out I dawdled, looked in
store windows -- I even did my homework in the library. It was dark when I
finally screwed up enough courage to come home. There on the vestibule door were
the waxy black calax leaves we used to call the "dead man's corsage." Taking a
long breath. I climbed the stairs and knocked timidly at the door.
"Is he here yet?" I asked.
My mother was wearing a black dress I
hadn't seen before. She was wearing an apron over it and I could smell something
sweet.
"Come on in, wash your hands and I'll take
you in to see him -- don't be afraid, he won't bite."
The sweet smell grew stronger as we
approached the living room. It was the flowers. There was a giant standing
bouquet from the volunteer fire department. I forgot Grandpa was a
volunteer fireman. Mother pushed me up to the coffin, but I was too short to see
anything but the tip of Grandpa's nose. That was as close as I wanted to
get but mother picked me up so I could get a better look. There he was in
his fireman's uniform -- his hat was on the lid covering his feet. He looked the
picture of health, much better in fact than most of us did this time of the
year. It wasn't so bad, really. But I was glad when my mother put me down all
the same.
"I'm hungry, Ma -- we gonna' eat soon?"
The five of us ate early. We got the dishes
done and by seven o'clock we were all sitting in the living room with
Grandpa waiting for the first visitors to arrive. There weren't any. My
grandfather didn't have many friends and the ones he did have probably didn't
know he was dead. Tomorrow night was supposed to be the big night. That's when
Pastor Tremayne and a delegation from the fire department would be there for the
wake.
We about gave up when my grandfather's
sister arrived. She said she couldn't be there for the wake the following
night. I don't think she saw my grandfather once since grandma died, but she put
up such a show of grief that one might think they had been inseparable.
She had a cup of tea in the kitchen before
leaving -- "What will I do without him," she sobbed, "I'll try and make the 'layin'
in' .... day after tomorrow, you said, right?" Then she had to go.
It was nine o'clock and grandpa hadn't
drawn much of a crowd. O'Dell came in with a little black make-up kit to
check on his appearance, and said he'd be back again tomorrow night before
the service and when he left, my father closed the lid on the coffin
abruptly and said we should all go to bed.
I lay next to my mother and wondered how my
father was getting along in the next room with grandpa. He suddenly began
to sneeze and I nudged my mother to asked, "That's not grandpa, is it?"
She went in to see what was wrong and came
back with my father. He got into bed, with me between them -- just like
old times. He never realized he was allergic to gardenias. It took him a while
to quiet down.
"Did'ja ever sleep between your mother and
father, pop?"
"Shut up and go to sleep," he answered.
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