The Writers Voice
“Who’s the lucky guy?” Jenna asked her roommate curiously.
“Oh, what’s his last name?”
“Hey isn’t that the guy you met at that party at the P.A. house?” Jenna asked her eyes lighting up in recognition.
“Yeah, hard to believe isn’t it?” Hannah replied giggling.
“Well, after Dillian and I broke up I wanted to wait for awhile before I went
out with someone else.” Hannah replied hesitating as she glanced up from the
mirror. “One day I was watching something well actually it was last week after
the Hamlet play or wait, no it wasn’t, it was the directing scenes; you remember
Andy was directing one, my music friend?”
“Hey what can I say I have a lot of friends.” Hannah replied shrugging. “Anyways I found that a lot of people I knew were in the scenes, Justin happened to be in the first one, I talked to him afterwards and here we are a month later.”
“Hmm, interesting.” Jenna said frowning slightly. She glanced out the window then back at her computer screen, her English paper beckoned her, if she didn’t finish it tonight she would be screwed tomorrow since it was due at nine-thirty in the morning to evil Nancy St. Clair.
“What?” Hannah asked innocently.
“Yeah well, why do you think I’m always on my computer?” Hannah said smiling.
“It’s the curse of being an English major.”
“I guess you’re right, hey shouldn’t he be here by now?” Jenna asked glancing at the clock on the dresser near here.
“Yeah, I imagine he will be, besides I’ve got a few things to do before he comes
anyway.” Almost as if on cue there was a knock at the door. “Oh my gosh he’s
here, and I’m not even ready yet!”
“Fine, ready to go?” Justin surveying Hannah’s room with a somewhat critical
eye. “Hey Jenna.”
“Are you ready yet?” Justin asked impatiently.
“Thanks have a good time tonight okay?”
“Okay I guess,” Hannah replied deliberately avoiding his gaze.
“Um, nothing really.” Hannah replied wishing he would just drop it. They started
walking towards his car. It was cold clear night, she shivered as she thought of
her jacket she left in her dorm room. ‘I knew I forgot something.’
“Just a little.” Hannah replied smiling back. Why did she always get so damn
nervous around guys? She sighed, hopefully it would pass and she wouldn’t do
anything stupid. Suddenly she tripped and fell. ‘So much for not embarrassing myself.’ she thought as she stood up praying no one else had seen her. “Are you
okay?” Justin asked as he opened the car door of his small silver compact car.
“Well, hope I wasn’t late.” Justin said apologetically as he started up the car. The engine whined as he turned the key again. Hannah tried not to laugh, she suspected that the car once belonged to his grandparents and now it was his. “Having trouble?” she teased.
“Yeah, a little.” Justin replied with a sigh. He glanced at her again. He could
barely believe that they were finally going out on a date. Finally the car
roared to life and he glanced at his rearview mirror. He smiled at Hannah who
was still shivering from the cold Iowa weather, despite that she was trying
desperately to hide it. “Still cold?” he asked laughing.
“Oh no reason, it’s just when I was still dating Dillan I couldn’t picture
myself with anyone but him.”
“Yeah well, stuff like that happens.” Hannah replied quietly as she glanced out
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Justin asked again softly.
“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly.
“What?” Justin asked concerned, she could tell he was worried about her. His
black eyes searched her face as if to try and read her mind. His dark brown hair
was short and spiky making his already lean six foot frame seem even taller.
“Come on I won’t tell anyone.” he pleaded. “ Besides we still have time before
the movie starts.”
“Oh, he’s the one who died right?” Justin asked suddenly scared, where was this
going? Was he in trouble already?
“I’m sorry.” Justin replied quietly. He could hardly believe his bad luck, he
barely knew this girl and he was already wrecking things. He glanced down at the
“Yes, I just don’t want to mess things up between us.” Justin replied his voice
“Really, now let’s go have a good time okay?” she asked hoping he would agree.
“Nothing.” Hanna replied quickly. She wiped the tears away wishing he
would just leave her alone.
“Yes, how did you know?” Hannah asked in surprise.
“No, it’s not that.” Hannah said quietly as she glanced at him nervously. “It’s not your fault, really, if he hadn’t died I wouldn’t be such a mess.”
“Oh, are you sure it has nothing to do with me?” Justin asked worriedly.
“Okay, if you say so.” he replied uncertainly. He turned away for a moment, trying to hide his disappointment. He only wanted this date to go well and now it was ruined all because of something beyond his control. “What is it?” she asked softly.
“Nothing.” he replied harshly. He turned to face her trying and failing miserably to hide the tears in his eyes. “I just wanted this date to be perfect and now, well now it’s ruined because of something I can’t even control.”
“That’s not true.” she replied stubbornly. “Just because he died doesn’t mean I don’t like you. That’s not what you were thinking was it?”
“No, well maybe.” Justin replied breathing in sharply. He glanced at his watch it was already eleven-thirty. “I guess I should take you home.” he said flatly.
“No hurry it’s not like I have anything to do tomorrow.”
“No, not much anyway.” Justin replied smiling. “After all it’s not like I actually have to do that much writing being a theater major and all.”
“That’s true.” Hannah said thoughtfully. Suddenly she stopped, he was hesitating
at the car. ‘I wonder what he wants?’ she thought as he glanced at her his eyes
suddenly worried again.
“Nothing I was just thinking about something.”
“Don’t worry about it, it was nothing really.”
“I’m sure.” he replied smiling at her. She breathed a sigh of relief as he laughed quietly. She was glad he was feeling better. She turned to face the black Iowa sky, the stars were just starting to come out. Suddenly she felt him behind her, she turned around to find him staring at her with such intensity that it almost scared her. “What?” she asked nervously.
“Nothing.” he replied smiling. He placed his hands on her shoulders. She
turned around again, watching the stars as they came out one by one. For awhile
they just stood there, she moved his hand so it was holding hers. She could feel
his heart beating inside her head and hear his breathing. She could tell he was
nervous it was almost as if he had never done this before, but she knew that
wasn’t true. She remembered well the conversation they had at the party when
they first met. He was worried that he wouldn’t be able to find a good
girlfriend. “Why, you’re attractive enough?” she said surprised.
“Oh, how were they mean?” she asked curiously. He proceeded to tell her all
about how most of his girlfriends wronged him. ‘Sounds like me.’ she thought at
the time. She glanced at him again, it was still hard to believe she was
standing her with him tonight. “What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“Me either.” Justin said laughing. He gazed at her and smiled. She laughed as she turned to face him once more. She lay her head on his chest just like the night they slept together at the P.A. house after becoming slightly intoxicated. “I guess we don’t have to worry about the circumstances anymore do we?”
“Huh?” Justin asked glancing down at her. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh yeah, now I remember.” Justin said laughing. “I guess you’re right.”
“I’m fine.” she replied quickly. Moving her hands down his body from his shoulders to his waist. For a moment she was scared again, what if this didn’t work out? What would happen then? She could hear his heartbeat again, she sighed trying to fight off the doubts in her head. Would it really be so bad if this was all they ever had? Probably not. “What?” he whispered.
“Nothing.” she replied quietly as she stared up at him. She smiled pulling him closer, losing herself in the whirlwind of her emotions. He kissed her softly on her forehead. She placed soft kisses on his neck moving upwards until she reached his mouth. She felt his tongue in her mouth and for a moment she was reminded of Dillan. She was surprised to find that it brought tears to her eyes. She shook head, clearing her head of the past, she didn’t need to worry about what had happened in the past. All that mattered was the here and now. She smiled as she opened the car door. He started the car it started on the first try this time. As he drove her home, she couldn’t help but wonder if this would be one of many moments they would share or if this was it. She glanced at Justin again as he pulled up to their dorm. Somehow she knew this wasn’t the last she would seeing of him.