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Living Here
by
Hacker
(Jolanta Gradowicz)
I am living here among the most loved people in the world. I am four years old.
They say I am much barked, but it’s quite normal in my situation. Have you ever
seen a dog that wouldn’t be barked? You surely wouldn’t.
And don’t call me Lassie, as I am proud of my own name. And my name is Hacker.
I was three months when I had taken up residence in the flat with the family.
Actually they wanted to have something like a Lassie, but first they saw me
wagging my tail and waving friendly may paw to them. I was lucky because Joan
turned out to be a very romantic woman. She immediately shouted, “It’s a sign
for us! He chose us! He is so lovely!”
Poor Joan! She didn’t even guess that I was wagging and waving to everyone who
passed by me. I was simply fed up with the small and uncomfortable cage.
Besides, my previous owner was horrible; he didn’t let me leave the cage even
for a while.
One way or another, I turned up in the flat. I frolicked, and they were watching
my pranks, being delighted with me. I was a great prankster, but they loved me
very much, and forgave me everything.
Some time later I was taken serious ill. They despaired for this reason. I
remember my frequent appointments with a vet. And I remember Joan watching over
me. She laid me down in a soft little bed (bought especially for me!) and
stroked me. I felt great sorrow at home then. But week by week I became stronger
and stronger and that was why everybody was happy even when I pissed in the
middle of the biggest room, or when I tore Joan’s slippers and her bedclothes. I
won’t mention a wooden shelf in the hall... But I had to sharpen my teeth
somewhere, didn’t I?
My human family is very nice. There are two teenagers here. The younger one,
Martin, is my real friend. He likes taking me for a walk. Joan even bought a
very long leash for him, as he wanted to allow me to go for a long distance.
I dislike it when both of the teenagers quarrel. Just in case then I always
catch an elder one’s trousers leg, because it is the younger one who always
takes care of my full bowl.
There is also a Boss who often likes to show me where my place in the family is.
From time to time I check if he is ready to give me leadership in the family,
but he still isn’t.
I love Joan most. She is so soft, and so warm! I like it when she throws a
little red ball, and I catch it in a flash. Then Joan shouts, “Hacker, you are
like a volleyball player!” I am very proud of it and that is why I don’t let the
ball even touch the floor.
I love to eat human food. I tend to sit close to my family and to watch their
mouths while they are eating. I always hope to receive some pieces of their
delicacies. Chocolate, sweets of every description and meat are the most
desirable.
I like it when Joan goes to the kitchen to prepare a meal. The clatter of the
refrigerator being opened is the nicest sound in the flat. I am able to hear it
wherever I am.
But today Joan pulls out vegetables and olive oil. She is surely going to do the
vegetable salad which is liked by everybody here. Oh, Joan! Do I look like a
vegetarian? I prefer far better these days when she prepares some meat spreads.
Unfortunately, today I won’t eat anything tasty.
Besides, Joan is still on a diet and that is why I eat much more frequently
pieces of carrots than meat.
I dislike it when Joan sits at the computer. She is so busy that she doesn’t
notice me at all, though I am very close to her and nudge her with my nose to
attract her attention. But Joan forgets about everything while she is writing
something. Sometimes she seems to be very excited, and sometimes she is very
sad. I am always surprised that the machine can set free such different
emotions... Human beings are strange species of animals. One way or another, I
dislike the computer.
My life here is very nice indeed. I like to lie in my lair and to daydream. And
you are wrong if you think that I dream about a big bone. Not at all!
I dream that everybody takes me for a very, very long walk because sometimes
(why are they still in a hurry?) I hardly manage to find a bush and to raise my
leg.
And I dream that my Boss doesn’t drive me out of Joan’s bed (he is simply
jealous!). And I would like Joan to have much more time for me. And I would like
to have the refrigerator still full of meat and beef tails.
I don’t complain at all, but my life here would be much nicer if my dreams could
come true...
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