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Don’t Call Tonight by Harry Buschman

 
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Linda
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Joined: 14 Jan 2004
Posts: 1024
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 7:37 pm    Post subject: Don’t Call Tonight by Harry Buschman Reply with quote

Good Harry! Smile
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Jolanta
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Joined: 14 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 10:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your story is short, but it is very telling and piercing.
I'm wondering who was more unhappy and lonely: she or he...

Jolanta
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Harry
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 10:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's no telling, Jolanta. That's why, for want of a better word, I like to call these stories "snapshots." We simply break in on the middle of something and have no knowledge of what came before and what comes after. It's for the reader to decide.
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Jolanta
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 12:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I insist on saying so, though.
It is a snapshot but that single scene is described perfectly; a reader can understand her feelings and loneliness.
It is easy to feel her hope and her anxiety.
The reader swears the war and people who separated her and him.
And the reader feels sorry for the child, and wonders why the life is often so rotten and unfair…
And he/she wonders what the man feels. Is he living at all?
The reader calls, “Don’t pick it up!”
But, perhaps it is he who calls her and thinks, “Hold the line! Hold on!”
Is the story still not telling to anyone?


Jolanta Cool
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Harry
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 2:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're a good reader Jolanta. You're the kind of reader every writer hopes for – all it takes is one snapshot and you're off and running.
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