Joined: 14 Jan 2004
|Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:23 pm Post subject: Daredevil Of The Sky by E.P. McKnight
What a noble subject...some of your rhymes seemed forced, and there are redundancies...i.e. one example of forced rhyming:
I'm not sure cotton could be bebegotten...however, I still think this is a noble effort to honor a noble woman. Welcome to the Writer's Voice, and I hope you will consider some revision.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
-- Dylan Thomas