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Fiction by Heidi Yang

 
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Harry
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Joined: 15 Jan 2004
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Location: New York

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 6:48 am    Post subject: Fiction by Heidi Yang Reply with quote

This is listed as fiction Heidi. I'm not sure you want feedback based on that category. It reads better, I think as non-fiction ... a diary form. We can't change facts like we can change fiction.
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Heidi
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Joined: 28 Feb 2004
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Location: Des Moines, IA

PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 11:34 am    Post subject: my piece Reply with quote

This piece is supposed to be a non-fiction piece! hope that helps:)
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Harry
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PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 2:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Interesting the way you associate God and rock music and look to both of them for advice, (or excuses). I think the answer lies elsewhere. You know Heidi it's hard for someone my age to remember what it was like to feel the way you do. But I do remember that life worked itself out without much input from me. I steered a course that kept me out of jail and relatively sober and I guess I floated with the current along with the others.

Then suddenly I was sure what I wanted to do, and in spite of all the temptations and advice I went ahead and did it. I've never looked back to see if I picked the right way what good would it do.
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Heidi
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Location: Des Moines, IA

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 12:56 pm    Post subject: feedback Reply with quote

Thanks Harry, granted your 'feedback' sounds more like advice on life;) However I appreciate it all the same. I submitted this piece in my portfolio for my non-fiction class last semester. My advisor/professor says that it's a bit too personal and doesn't appeal much to the general public. Problem was he told me this about 3 or 4 days before the portfolio was due..so I was like well guess I can't change the whole piece like you want me to...but thanks for the advice I guess... Wink At any rate any feedback on the piece anyone has is most welcome.
On another note if anyone feels they want to comment on the situation in the piece instead or in addition to they may do so as well Laughing I don't mind really.I just put the above disclaimer in because I would like to further improve the piece.
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