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Last Goodbye by Cara Walker

 
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Harry
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 5:14 am    Post subject: Last Goodbye by Cara Walker Reply with quote
Last Goodbye by Cara Walker

Aside from the single time his brother uses his name, "Ricky," you constantly refer to him as your friend, or 'he or 'him'. This is a good chapter ... well written, and I think it would be far more intimate and effective if you used his name too. One other caveat ... the word "ya" doesn't sit well for a story in England, >>“What? Aren’t ya getting into ya leathers?”<<
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