Harry Site Admin

Joined: 15 Jan 2004 Posts: 2505 Location: New York
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Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 5:14 am Post subject: Last Goodbye by Cara Walker |
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Last Goodbye by Cara Walker
Aside from the single time his brother uses his name, "Ricky," you constantly refer to him as your friend, or 'he or 'him'. This is a good chapter ... well written, and I think it would be far more intimate and effective if you used his name too. One other caveat ... the word "ya" doesn't sit well for a story in England, >>“What? Aren’t ya getting into ya leathers?”<< _________________ We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.
Ernest Hemingway |
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