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Low self-esteem

 
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Intro - Newbie from Brazi
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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2005 9:57 am    Post subject: Low self-esteem Reply with quote

Sad

Ola:

Newbie from Brazil. I browsed and found this post by Brian Peters, referring to Hemingway.

Anyway, in one of his many famous speeches he said:

"For a true writer each book should be a new beginning where he tries again for something that is beyond attainment. He should always try for something that has never been done or that others have tried and failed. Then sometimes, with great luck, he will succeed."

To the above, I add, and you will be ridiculed in the process, your sanity and talent followed by question and exclamation marks. The avatars, the real writers, will get caught in your ellipses and elapses and fail to show sympathy for the mind behind the words.

I have written hundreds of books, invisible words forming in my mind. Low self-esteem, of black hole proportions has been my tireless Siamese twin. I am trying for the first time, to cajole my mind to cooperate with my fingers, offering my brand new lap top as a bait My adult Attention Deficit Disorder a constant opponent. I never can finish what I start. Be it a piece of jewelry or shopping with a list. Often sentences hang in mid-air because my train of thoughts change tracks abruptly. I am trying to write narrative non-fiction, experiential work.

A week ago, my psychiatrist returned from a ADHD conference. She showed a well known doctor, made famous by his published book, a couple of short pieces I had written. Could he, having ADD himself offer some words of wisdom about writing. The ADD mind suffers from a neurobiological disorder, my own mind, polluted, sees a murky world.

He told her,

“Writing a book is very difficult. It requires a lot of work and not everyone can do it.”

My first reaction when I heard that was “Thanks for the encouragement, assh...” When my anger went for a walk, I felt defeated. I often do.

Fortunately my ex-husband was around. I told him about Dr. I-Made-It-What-Makes-You-Think-You’re-My- Equal’s reaction. Ex is a scientist, known for his wry humor.

He dismissed it with a wave of his hand,

“May be it is difficult for the asshole, not for you.”

That was all I needed to hear, a shot of faith in me
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Harry
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Joined: 15 Jan 2004
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Location: New York

PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2005 11:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome, first of all from all of us above the equator.

Let's hope your ex-husband is right, I happen to think writers make writing a lot more difficult than it has to be. I've found that a tin ear is a great defense.
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