Joined: 14 Jan 2004
|Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 12:28 pm Post subject: Great Expectations by Fahima Yousouf
Although a bit long, I enjoyed your narrative. You have obviously studied writing, it is evident in your work. However, what is NRI??? And, you wrote:
...I must have dozed off when suddenly I woke up and noticed someone had ... stuffed bits of cotton in my nose. ...the cotton was my niece’s handiwork ...
But, just above this paragraph you wrote:
...My sister was conscious enough to put her daughter to sleep early ...
Did your niece wake up and then adorn your nose? The ending was a bit weak for such a long build up...but, other wise, the narrative flows well. I'd give you an A-...
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
-- Dylan Thomas