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Beckoning Waves by Adam Gilson

 
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Harry
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Joined: 15 Jan 2004
Posts: 2505
Location: New York

PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 7:33 am    Post subject: Beckoning Waves by Adam Gilson Reply with quote

Beckoning Waves by Adam Gilson

A sensitive and poetic awakening and presented in a form of poetic prose that seems to have gone out of fashion. If this is biographical I can share the sentiments with you.

One small caveat, however the children eating breakfast alone. It's a heartbreaking scene, not given as much attention as it deserves. Their grief is as significant as your own.
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Linda
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Joined: 14 Jan 2004
Posts: 1024
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 8:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Adam,

I agree with Harry, this is a beautiful poetic expression...one to be read over and over.

Linda
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Adam Gilson
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Joined: 17 Jan 2007
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Location: Ventura, CA

PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i appreciate the input, folks Smile

that was one of the first short stories i wrote about a year ago, and recently found it again (thankfully) in my email.

harry, would you suggest that the children should have been more involved in the story from a plot stand point? or perhaps just more exposition in regards to how they feel about this particular situation?

thanks for any advice,

adam
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Harry
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 11:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Without going back to the story I seem to remember that your point of view is the father's. This tends to make him seem somewhat self-centered when the reader recalls the children in the kitchen. They've lost something important and irreplaceable in their lives also.
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Adam Gilson
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 12:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Harry"]Without going back to the story I seem to remember that your point of view is the father's. This tends to make him seem somewhat self-centered when the reader recalls the children in the kitchen. They've lost something important and irreplaceable in their lives also.[/quote]

you know, you've inspired me to write a follow up to this story from the children's perspective! i'm not sure how to rewrite this one to expound more upon the children, but a new story might do the trick.

and you're right, their part in this story is very poignant as well, and should not be ignored.
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