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Darkness falls

 
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Harry
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Joined: 15 Jan 2004
Posts: 2505
Location: New York

PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:23 am    Post subject: Darkness falls Reply with quote

The alternate ending by all means! Even with the alternate ending I find it hard rationalize a woman of such intelligence talking herself into such a situation on the basis of such flimsy evidence. Still it makes for fun reading ... and the genre seems to be a specialty of yours.
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happy2b8
Poster Want-2-B


Joined: 07 Apr 2004
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hardly a specialty - yet! I'm still working on it Smile I find that the biggest obstacle I face is that I don't push the envelope on my stories enough. I am too careful a writer, I tend to stick too much to the beaten path. But I'll figure it out, eventually.

I do think that rational people can become totally irrational, even in a simple situation like this. However, the character development should maybe have involved a better set-up to share with the reader the flaws in her which would explain why, even if she is so successful and rational and strong on the one hand, she can break down completely at something this simple and, well... Stupid.

I'm glad you enjoyed reading the story!!!! And thank you for the comment
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Heidi
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Joined: 28 Feb 2004
Posts: 585
Location: Des Moines, IA

PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:51 pm    Post subject: Darkness falls Reply with quote

I agree with Harry the alternate ending. Although the first one could work, it doesn't quite I don't know, have the right sense to it, no that's the wrong word, it just doesn't seem to fit. I think you said it best the character isn't developed enough or in the right way for the first ending to fit Very Happy But hey I like it. I thought when I was reading it, that I might not be able to sit and read it all as it was later at night but nope I read it all, you got me hook, line and sinker, which can be hard to do after a long day of data entry! Laughing
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happy2b8
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Joined: 07 Apr 2004
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 7:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Heidi! I'm really glad that I was able to hold your attention throughout the entire story, even if it was a little soft at the end. It encourages me to keep writing and figuring out how to iron out the oh-so-numerous quirks my writing still has Smile

Original ending: 0
Alternate ending: 2
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