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Last Goodbye by Cara Walker

 
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Harry
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Joined: 15 Jan 2004
Posts: 2505
Location: New York

PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:51 am    Post subject: Last Goodbye by Cara Walker Reply with quote

Last Goodbye by Cara Walker

A very good beginning Cara. It radiates sincerity. There's a line, >“They act like they’re doing me a favour by coming, because of the circumstances.” He explained.< Will that be explained later?

I like the intrusion of the weather and the attempt to normalize the meeting by the laughter generated by the television program. They humanize the equation.
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Cara
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Joined: 20 Jan 2009
Posts: 39
Location: Sunderland, North East England

PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Harry,
It took me hours to come up with part one, but it is all fiction. I just try to put myself in the characters shoes with questions like "how would i feel if..." It's just my writing style.

Cara Walker

P.S
If you recieve this at some strange time in the night, it's because I'm emailing from England.
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Harry
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Posts: 2505
Location: New York

PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

>>f you recieve this at some strange time in the night, it's because I'm emailing from England.<<

That goes without saying, Cara. The "Humour" gave it away. We'd like to see more, there's a lot more to be told I'm sure. Some of the loose ends stand out ... names for instance ... who 'they' are ... why did the brother disappear ... the relationship between the narrator and the cancer patient.
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