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Scientific Crap - Heidi Baker

 
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Harry
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Joined: 15 Jan 2004
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Location: New York

PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 9:54 am    Post subject: Scientific Crap - Heidi Baker Reply with quote

Wish I knew what was in the pile, (yes, I really do). I think most your readers will want to know too. What did you have against Mr. Jeppson and why did you hang Saul out to dry. I feel as though I've come to the party too late - the fun seems to be over.
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dkneip
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Joined: 01 Jul 2004
Posts: 253
Location: California

PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 12:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Heidi..

I mean, is Harry ever wrong?? Laughing But Harry you have one up on me.. I feel like I wasn't even invited to the party!

The story has a real nice flow and the descriptions are good - the image of Saul's face reminds me of a time I was being held as a suspect for a crime i DID NOT commit, and they took my picture before releasing me. My good name was later exonerated though I was later told I looked incredibly guilty in that picture!!

So I really liked how you handle the information you're willing to give us. But is this an experimental piece where it's up to the readers imagination to determine what happened? Frankly, I want to read something and get lost in it. I just have too many questions regarding the "facts" in this story and I'm never going to have access to the police file.

Though all in all, if I take it for what it is, you do a really good job of setting up a scene and creating interest in character. It's got a real different feel being told in present tense - this real immediate sense to it. In that respect, I'd have to say good job. Very Happy

Daniel
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DaveR
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Joined: 14 Jan 2004
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Location: Los Angeles

PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This snapshot of a prank gone bad for the prankster confuses me somewhat. I had to read it four times to follow what is happening. Although I admire what you are attempting to do with your style of writing, perhaps your use of first person present tense interspersed with quick flashbacks reads a bit choppy, and I find it difficult to get into the story.

Also, at the end you say, "When Aunt Wanda comes to bail us out, maybe she wonít yell too loudly. Saul was protected in the police cruiser, but I stood up to see what was happening. I donít smell very good." Why the change of tense in the last sentence? It's not clear that Aunt Wanda would have to bail you out? When were you arrested?

Please submit more of your writings.
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dnapelee
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Joined: 16 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I found your story very intriguing, especially in relation to our socio-educational formats and academic ideas in scientific study. What is "scientific crap?" THAT seems to be the question! What is "crap?" And for that matter, what is "science?" Your connection between theory and reality is quite exciting for those who can connect the dots of symbolism within your story! Bravo Heidi! What emotional disorder does a gas chomatograph suffer from? Separation anxiety! Genius Heidi Baker, pure genius!
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Harry
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't believe you've just got around to reading this story now Ė you're way behind! I posted my comments back in December of last year.
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ehsan elahi ehsan
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:22 am    Post subject: Scientific Crap - Heidi Baker Reply with quote

In the story the passive character of aunt Wnada attracts me more. The story skips the details without losing the tracks of the main idea. The sentence she says " since I am a month older, i am responsible' is a striking one. I would draw the conclusion that the youngs want to have their own way inspite of the taunts of the elders like aunt Wanda and Mr. Jepson.
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