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At This Very Moment by Clive Michie

 
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Linda
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Joined: 14 Jan 2004
Posts: 1024
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 7:48 am    Post subject: At This Very Moment by Clive Michie Reply with quote

Ah Hah! I knew you were a poet! Wink

Great form Clive!

I know changing titles present a problem with re-post, but I think I'd either change the title or change the leading line for one or two stanzas. You certainly want to drive the issue home, and I like how this is accomplished by using the verse at the beginning and ending, however, you're touching on some highly controversial issues within the poem. I believe it would stir more response if the reader felt less threatened or reminded of the fact—you know, the less is more rule.

Linda
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