The Writer's Voice

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Resham Bhojwani

With froth on my upper lip, and rich white cream melting on my pinkish tongue, I'm sitting at Starbucks baffled by what I see outside. Looking out the window, I crack open Pandora's box and notice the hustle and bustle of everyday life. But this was not as simple as I thought it would be. I see people. My vision is blurred; I can't see faces or defined bodies. To me, my sight outside looks like a fast-paced movie with the rewind and fast-forward button jammed somewhere in the middle. I hear faint voices, screeching traffic noises and the world spins around me in circles. I sit and watch. Gazing outside, I wonder to myself, am I the only static thing alive? 

The scene is muddled. Pressing rewind, I see the past. Clicking forward, I see the future. And what is the present? A scene that doesn't exist. Or does it? 

I close my eyes, pinch myself and awake to the same reality. Somewhere, somehow, something has gone wrong. Stop. I take a minute to recollect my thoughts. Like waves in the dark blue sea, my thoughts crash onto each other and I can't hold onto them. Why does it feel like the whole world is circling me so fast that it slips through my fingers every time I think I've caught it. Hold it. What I see is not what I know what life should be. Sipping away my last few sugary bits of coffee, I question where I am and what I see outside of me. 

Life to me is a mystery. I once felt secure but now I feel terribly insecure. Wrapped in its arms of trust and faith, never did I think I would question my life's comforting existence. My thoughts are now making me feel uncomfortable, nudging me to wake up and smell reality. How can I when I question my every move, my every breath and now, my pure existence. Who am I? Where am I? Do I really exist? Or is this just a figment of my imagination? I once heard life is an illusion, better known to me as maya. Perhaps so. I don't know. Will I ever know? 

I sit here dazzled, amazed and in awe of what I think is real. Ever wondered which world is real, your awakened state or dream state? I pinch myself again, and now I wake up to my alarm clock ringing. Its 7:00am and time to get ready for work.

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