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Materialization
by
Rusty Broadspear
After
It was a grey damp noon when they materialized
Around the central light, inches below the ceiling.
A fluttering mass of moth-like creatures
disguised
As something else. A black snowfall, so small,
unappealing.
Settled and scattered chaotically over furniture
and floor.
Cloaked in a cloud of unreality, I harvested them
one by one,
Placed them on a silver tray, determined not to
withdraw.
Time shrivelled and swelled, the tray was full,
whereupon,
I set it upon a table, drew up a chair, began to
pray..... controlled,
Swollen moments, statuesque; with random thought, I
surveyed,
Bending forward, not touching what was warm but now
was cold.
Sensing inspiration, illumination, yet
simultaneously afraid......
Before
On the day of my Four Ho Ho Ho, a couple of days
ago,
She took both kids, flew abroad, with a builder
friend of mine.
Unexpectedly, I see the substructure of a personal
hollow
That I've been digging for years but not of my
design.
Heartaches, mistakes, grief and naively breaking
the law.
For the latter I stand to 'do time,' so 'end of
tether' seems so real.
Beyond enraged, already caged but no longer willing
to endure,
I concede to the Knighthood of Abuser, User, Total
Imbecile.
Two days of clouded, lucid thinking, drinking,
inwardly shrinking,
Curtains drawn, withdrawn, wanting so much to be
reborn,
Slithering in slime, shrivelled time, within such
misty thinking
A feared conclusion appeared; I was nothing but a
pawn.
After Again
All senses barricaded, a hand spiderly walked to
the tray,
A stranger watched, as it sorted for corners and
straight edges.
Disgraced as it placed them, filling them in, to
portray
All he wanted to forget, regrets and empty pledges.
A picture built of all that was lost and all that
was spilt,
A thousand segments, most of which he did not
recognise.
And finally he saw light above depression and
guilt,
That so many of these segments were other peoples
lies.
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