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Nothing Free

by

Suzanne Tyson

I hear her calling me, but I’d rather stay in bed, so I cover

my head with my blanket. She calls me again, but I ignore her.

She doesn’t understand what Monday morning means to me.

I’d rather stay in bed with my dreams instead of facing a waking nightmare.



Oh no, she’s coming up the stairs, feet pounding, voice louder.

She’s angrier by the step. Out of bed and into the bathroom,

quick, she’s coming. Yes, I’m almost ready, I call. Down the hall

she goes, but she’ll be back if I don’t get dressed. I wish I could tell her the rest.



Into my clothes, and brush my teeth. My stomach is shaky, queasy and uneasy.

What excuse can I use? Think quick. There has to be something new.

Oh, God, what can I do? I can’t go. I can’t stay. Past excuses to review.

Every moment here is agony, when I have to go there. It’s just not fair.



I stand at the top of the stairs, and I wonder what they will do to me today.

I need an escape plan, before I go, just in case I have to leave.

Visions of fists and elbows come vividly to my mind, the times



I‘ve been pinned to the ground with people’s faces all around.

She calls again. Here I go. Down the stairs slowly and into the kitchen

to eat eggs and toast. I’ll have to make the most of it.

Her face tells me not to ask. I’ve done it too many times in the past,

and she’s tried, but they lied. What can she do?



She reminds me to take my money for lunch, and I slip out the door.

My knees are shaking, my heart is in my throat. What if today they hurt me

worse than yesterday and the day before? What if there are three or four

instead of one or two? What will I do?



Oh, Lord, help me make it through the day, just one more day.

Be with me as I go from room to room, down the halls from nine to three,

where I’m not free to be myself, not free from punches after lunches.

not free from bullies. No, there is nothing free in school for me.

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