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My Illusion is Over
by
Yi Arum
I thought I'm naive, and I still think
I'm naive.
When someone want to talks, I just talk with him or her.
The bad thing is... while I talk with someone, I'm losing my energy.
People are selfish to know others, people want something - their own pleasure.
Right, people are selfish to love each other.
I hope there are some wonderful things in this world.
I still hope it, and I need it.
People need love, and people want to be alone to enjoy only in their world.
I want to tell you what I love;
I love the playground.
I want to walk too slowly.
I love to watch TV without thinking.
I love to listening music.
If you are a girl , maybe you are same as me.
When I walk the street, I thought men look at me.
And when I talk someone, I think he will love me soon.
Funny?
Yes I was so naive to think that way.
It appears there's no problem,
but if you also think men will love you,
you must be dreaming.
I want to be loved, and I didn't care whoever love me.
I loved a boy 20 last year, and he is 10 years younger than me.
He loved my body, and he still want my body.
I'm sick of his physical love.
But I realised that I also loved his body.
I enjoyed his body.
I tried to love his spirit, but he doesn't have any spirit.
Some people don't have any spirits as this boy.
And I also don't have spirit whenever I want some basic instincts.
I tried to get rid of my physical desire, but I still want it.
And I also want some mental love too.
People think physical love and mental love are same and can't be separated.
Most men and few women can separate them,
and few men and most women need them at the same time.
Fortunately, I've realised this now.
First love is important for good souvenirs.
I wanted to meet my first love whenever I felt lonely.
Now I don't need him anymore even though I'm melancholy.
Okay let me test you if you need them together or only need body or spirit.
Do you have a lover?
If you have a lover, do you love them?
If you love them, do you believe they also love you?
If they love you, what do you do together?
Do you talk a lot? Do you make love a lot?
Do you laugh a lot? Do you feel good these days?
If you are worried about their love, then quit your love with them.
Real love, there's no doubt, and there's no worry.
If you see you two objectively, you will realise your illusion...
Please love slowly, and make love slowly, and talk slowly.
You know, my illusion is over, and I am calm now.
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